James and I were playing ball on his bed. Of course, like most games, James eventually tries to "stim" (shorthand for self-stimulation). You have probably seen an autistic person flapping, spinning or toe-walking. Some line things up in a row or obsessively watch wheels spin. James likes to flip things around. Like balls in his lap or puzzle pieces clattering on the floor. Of course, I try and mutate these stims into more acceptable forms. Playing ball is great. Add speed to the mix and you've distracted him! Quickly dump the pieces on the floor, make that great clatter, then sweep them away and encourage him to start the puzzle. I have always been told by therapists about the importance of "redirecting" stimming. I think James HAS to stim. I just have to create a balance where he doesn't zone out and prefer the stim world 24/7. So, as James began to stim with three small balls (and not throw them back to me), I decided to just ask him. Why not - he knows what stimming is. "James, why are you stimming?" He smiled at me, put his hand to his chest and said "Hah-Pey." James are you stimming because you are happy? "Yeah," he said, nodding, "Hah-Pey!" Wow. Incredible, in fact! James said a word - twice - and a new word at that! We were having a conversation. Unfortunately this little bit of information means I have a lot more work ahead of me. So stimming is the coping mechanism that enables James to experience situations and feelings, which is, basically, LIFE. I wracked my brains thinking of an "acceptable" stim/release but soon began to giggle: drinking, smoking, biting your nails, tapping your foot, drumming your fingers? Maybe James' stims aren't the worst. I think I have to work on the WHY he needs this stimulation. Comfort? Confidence? Frustration? Inability to communicate? All of the above and more! Yikes . . . wish me luck!
